For the Mom Who Gives Her All—You're Magic. This One’s Just for You

Dear Moms,

Today is your day. That one day of a year when you get a "Happy Mother's Day" card, with a cold toast in bed, and 3 minutes of appreciation before someone yells, “Muuuummmm! Where are my socks?”

Now, let’s rewind that magical moment when it all started. The time when you held your baby for the first time in your hand, with those tiny fingers, soft skin and eyes shut tight.

Yes, in that moment, you felt something shift.

You don’t know what.

Something magical happened.

You felt different.               

You kind of feel as if a fairy has visited and handed you this little bundle of joy to safely wrap in your arms and save it from the unkind world.

And before leaving, she handed you two things:

·  A shiny superhero cape with “Best Mum Ever” stitched across the back.

·  And… a stick. Yep, a guilt stick, with a little note: “If you ever feel like you’re not doing enough, whack yourself with this... Repeatedly

Then onwards.

You wear the cape. Proudly. And then 17 times a day… you use the guilt stick on you.

• Oh no. I let my kid eat a non-organic apple. I’m a terrible mother.

• I didn’t spend four hours building a tin-can robot for “Show and Tell.” I am not doing anything for my kid.

• I let my child eat creamy cheesy past instead of broccoli. Am I failing?

• My teenager can’t paint a sunset, my fault.

And so on, you keep using the guilt stick on you tormenting your soul for no good.

And this guilt doubles down the moment you choose to not quit your job.

Because some of us, didn’t give up our jobs.

Not because you don’t love your kids, but because you love what you do.

Or it could be because sometimes, you have no other options, sometimes for the bills or sometimes not to have an identity crisis.

Whatever the reason, when you choose to continue working, you carry that guilt stick in your handbag to smash yourselves any given time.

When you leave the house, while your child stares at you with watery eyes and a snotty nose…you take out that guilt stick and whack you.

You get a call from day care that your child has a runny nose… whack

Traveling for work,

Late nights meeting,

Child not eating,

Missed meeting with teacher

Unfinished work

Leaving sick crying baby on caregivers

You hear it, that awful little voice: "You’re choosing work over your child. What kind of mother are you?"

And again… whack.

But the thing is you’re trying. All of us are trying to do the best possible.

Every single day.

Balancing work, kids, house, laundry, mental health, birthday parties, dentist appointments, “Mum, I need 28 cupcakes by tomorrow,” and other people’s expectations. Society’s expectations.

And somewhere in all of that… you forget your expectations.

You forget you matter too.

There was a time I felt like I was failing at everything.

Work wasn’t getting my best. Home wasn’t getting my best. And I was so stretched, so tired, I couldn’t remember the last time I just sat still.

So, I did something wild. I stopped.

I sat down. I looked at my life.

And I asked: “Whose version of perfect am I chasing?”

So now there are times:

I still mess up. The cape is a bit tattered.

The guilt stick still appears on some days.

But I’ve learned to do this:

• Prioritise. Not everything matters.

• Ask for help. You're not meant to do this alone.

• Set boundaries. “No” is a complete sentence.

• Take care of my health. Physical and mental.

• Stop the guilt trip. Especially the luxury upgrade version.

• And trust myself. I’m doing the best I can—and that’s enough.

Cheering all the moms, work in progress a very happy Mother’s Day.

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