I just wish I could get that perfect day. An instant voice raised in my head, what is a perfect day? Well, a peaceful day where I get to do things the way I wanted.
It’s simple. I like simple things but in my life, the word simple is exactly what is missing.
See, I got up this morning and decided that today I’m going to follow my perfectly crafted schedule. I’ll get up early in the morning, sit down to write and try to do quality work for my book, then go for a workout, and all this I’m going to do before touching my phone.
But then, I saw this number flashing on my screen. Shoot, I have to take this call. When I finished the call I had lost an hour. Hurriedly, I went back to look at my screen but all those words started swirling in my head, pushing me to go back to the conversation I just had. I could feel my temper rising, heart beating faster, and you know when the heart races, the mind takes the back seat.
My perfect schedule went out of the window. And it’s just one thing. There are plenty of things each day, up and ready to trigger.
Life is simple. Nah, it’s complicated or we complicate it?
Well, I have learned that these few things help in making it better:
1)Learn from Your Past, But Don’t Live There:
You know I struggled with this a lot, staying in my past, either glorifying it or negating it. So I’d focus on how things were great or think about what all went wrong. This made me miss so many opportunities in my present. I realized the past is meant to teach a lesson and move on. If you failed in the past, that’s fine. Just learn what you did wrong, move on, and try again without repeating past mistakes. What happened to you in the past, good, bad, ugly, leave it there. You can’t go back and change it. You can change what you do today, so focus on that.
2) Change the Way You Look at Things:
The biggest lesson I learned is changing the way I look at things, and that’s the game changer. It’s hard to accept that it’s your own perception that’s screwed up rather than the things around you. The day I changed my lens to see things differently, it took me out of a lot of unwanted mess.
3) Find Out What’s Most Important to You and Shift Your Energy There:
Just 24 hours in a day. Yes, we all have that much time. Why can some people do so much within this limited time span, while I struggle? Then I started asking the question: Is this thing I’m currently focused on important to me? If not, why am I wasting my finite energy on things that don’t matter to me? I made a pyramid of my priorities: my faith, family, work, friends, things I like to do, things I hate. Based on that, I see where this present thing I’m focused on fits in. That helps me shift my energy in the right direction.
4) Being Busy Doesn’t Mean You Are Productive:
I used to start my day, sit in front of a screen, spend hours, and end the day with nothing concrete to show for it. Where the hell did my time go? That’s when I realized I wasn’t planning ahead and looking for concrete results. I needed to know what I expected the end result to be. This clarity saved me from the frustration I felt after spending hours of my crucial time.
5) If You Want Something, Give That First:
It feels so nice to expect things from others: Why don’t people love me? Why don’t they care for me? They should be nice to me. They should be the ones offering me. But the art of reciprocity is about giving others what you want them to give you. Anything you expect from others, you should give that first. Don’t keep giving without receiving; otherwise, you’re going to get frustrated. There should be a decent balance of give and take, and this works.
6) Remove Clutter:
Whether it’s your workspace, home, or life, try to remove unwanted items from around you. When we are hounded by things we don’t need, the things we do need get lost. Decluttering and organizing let you see what you need to focus on.
7) Find a Better Way to Do Things:
If something can be done in less time and you are taking more, you need to find a better way. It sucks to accept that you’re being lazy and there are others who are doing the job better than you. You can deny it and say, “Hey, they don’t do the job well. I take time because I do it with perfection.” If something is being done better, you lack that skill and need to learn it. The day I started accepting this, I started improving.
8) Drama Is Fun on Screen; You Don’t Need It in Your Life All the Time:
I love movies. They’re fun; they take you on an emotional ride of fun, agony, grief, and happiness. But seeing it in your life all the time drains your energy and sucks the life out of you. If you or someone you know enjoys making a big scene out of nothing, they lack emotional regulation. My lesson learned: manage how to react when you feel overwhelmed.
9) Do What Feels Right:
A lot of people do a lot of things. I’m not here to preach what is right or wrong, but I do know when I do something that isn’t aligned with my values, I feel uneasy. A discomfort seeps inside me, making me lose interest in other things. I do what I feel is right, not what you think is right. My right is my right!
10) Your Happiness Matters More Than Their Opinions:
You don’t like my taste in music? Fine. You think my hobby is silly? Cool. You can even hate my favorite pizza topping—pineapple, of course—but here’s the thing: I’m not living my life to meet your expectations. I’ve learned that my happiness matters more than your opinions. So, I’ll keep jamming to my tunes, indulging in my hobbies, and enjoying my pineapple pizza. And guess what? I’m loving every minute of it!
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