I came across this piece of news on Business Insider: Mark Zuckerberg’s daughter told him she wanted to be like Taylor Swift when she grew up. And his response? "But you can’t."
Classic dad move.
And you know what I thought. If I were a billionaire tech mogul, I’d probably say the same thing. Actually, even when I'm not, I’d still say it because, hey, we’re parents—“that’s what we do”. That’s what my parents did, and that’s what I will do—having a say in my child’s life choices.
Where I grew up, careers based on passion were not entertained much. In fact, throughout all my growing-up years, my life revolved around marks, study, or some form of it.
And life choices were a joint committee decision made by my aunts, uncles, grandparents, cousins, neighbors, distant relatives, and even their neighbors.”
The first time I came across the word ‘career’ was in my fourth grade when my English teacher assigned us a very simple task: ‘What do you want to be when you grow up?’
Honestly, the first thing that came to mind was, ‘I want to be a mom.’ To my blissful tiny existence, being a mom seemed like the ultimate power position—deciding how long I could play, how many chocolates I could eat.
How could I ignore the temptation to get that control over life? It was too powerful for me to ignore.
But my parents already had my future mapped out for me:
Actually, it was my mom’s own unmet dream.
As such, most parents live under the pressure: What if my child doesn’t succeed? What if they don’t get a well-paying career? What if they fail to make a living?
This pressure leads them to push kids to choose a career. And the ideal career is determined by how much money, status, or respect the career would bring, not by passion, talent, or personal interest.
Profession is seen as an identity, defining who you are. And when something tied up with your worth is not achieved, it makes you feel worthless. And that’s unacceptable.
So they pushed us to choose a “respectable” profession, which wasn’t about personal fulfillment—it was about proving worth to the world.
The funny thing about a career is that when it aligns with your natural talents, inherent potential, interests, and values, it can change the course of your life.
But when it comes to career choices, not many of us are lucky enough to strike the perfect combination of:
Passion
Interest
Strength
Skill matching
Drive
And Compensation
The thing is when we start out with our unaware self and, if someone says,
But the tragedy is that, at the time we have to make our career choices, we often lack the clarity and the information we desperately need about: who we are, what we truly want, what drives us, what we can’t tolerate, what kind of job drains our soul, and which type of work lifts us up.
That time if anyone tells us to our unaware self to follow your passion, find your strength. We exactly didn't know then:
What do we truly crave?
What inspires us?
What motivates us?
What gets us out of bed in the morning?
What makes us hide?
The truth is, most of us missed out on a more natural approach to career selection. The one based on what actually matters to you:
Natural talent and abilities
Fascination
Devotion
Inclination
So we choose the other way, by deciding
How much money could you make?
How much respect, power could you earn?
Can buy a house? How big?
Which model car can you buy?
What clubs could you join?
What about beach vacation in Bahamas
And then there was another practical approach to choose career:
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Once we get into the boat, we go with the flow, whatever is available to us, and we carry on with the flow until—bam!—midlife hits.
Somewhere in our late 30s or 40s, it dawns on us: “Is this it? Why does something feel off?”
And then we realized that we are almost spending somewhere around 100000 hours of our life on something we don’t like doing.
And one day, in the middle of a meeting, while your boss is throwing around numbers, your mind starts wandering. A voice screams in your head, “What am I even doing here? This is soul-sucking! I thought I was going to change the world. Nothing’s changed.”
But before you can make a dramatic exit, another voice interrupts: “Hey, remember the bills to pay? Your stocks are not sufficient for a lifetime. Your kid’s tuition for those Ivy League’s is no joke.”
So, instead of storming out, you swallow the fire, pull your shoulders back, and trudge into that riveting discussion about performance metrics.
What exactly happens when we reached mid-life that suddenly we have this craving to press the reset button.
As we age, a few things become clearer:
1. We’ve Become Wiser:
When we’re naïve, we get fascinated by the lure of promises of “Synergistic Work Environments” and “Dynamic Growth Opportunities”. Those words sounded magical when we were 25. Fast forward 20 years, and now we know what they really mean:
Synergistic work environment, “oh, endless meetings trying to figure out what “synergistic” even means.”
Dynamic growth? More like dynamically growing your stress levels.
Work-life integration? So well integrated that you dream about spreadsheets.
2. Awareness of Mortality:
Around this age, your body starts sending you not-so-subtle reminders: BP, diabetes, stress. You start realizing life isn’t forever, and the thought creeps in—Do I really want to spend the rest of my time doing something I hate?
3. Desire for Authenticity:
Is this career even a reflection of who you are anymore? You’ve spent 20 years coding, but what about the guitar gathering dust in the corner? It calls to you, reminding you of who you were before life took over.
4. Need for Growth and Change:
You’ve done enough of this. You’ve provided for your family, have growing stocks, built a stable life. Enough your kids can waste.
Now, maybe it’s time to do something that excites you, challenges you, and brings meaning back into your life.
Maybe our career path reflects the ascending order of needs that Maslow described.
Maslow's Hierarch of Need
Remember, your career should reflect who you are and what you love.
What do you think about balancing passion and practicality in career choices? Share your thoughts in the comments below! If you enjoyed this discussion, please like and share it with others. Let’s keep the conversation going!
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